SAM THE MINUTEMAN IS BETTER AT FALCONRY THAN YOU

WHAT WE KNOW

Massfacts: We basically covered everything we know about this year’s UMass team in this week’s podcast, so give that a listen. We’re not going too in depth for this preview because um I forgot to write it last night for no reason other than I forgot it was Thursday.

We never promised to be professional. What did you expect?

Greenfacts: Again, we talked about this on the pod. But THE Bowling Green State University is 2-2 on the year, with their one of their wins coming against an FCS team and the other in the waning seconds of a game against a maybe-good Indiana squad.

The Falcons are the defending conference champs, but it’s a whole new year. Their stats don’t worry us much. If UMass executes the playcalls, they’ll be fine.

Timefacts: These two future-former conference foes have met on the field twice in all of human history: 2013 and 2013. UMass has been outscored 52-7 in those games. Yikes. BUT, with a vastly improved UMass team, much much much better coach, and the electricity that a return to Amherst should bring, I would not expect that trend to continue.


WHERE TO ENJOY

TV: ESPN3
Radio: WEEI (105.5 FM in Springfield), WHYN (560 AM in Springfield if you hate FM radio, you weirdo), WVEI (1440 AM in Worcester), WXKS (1200 AM in Boston), and WATD (95.9 FM on the South Shore)
Legal Streams: Video, Audio, Delayed Animated Dots
Pirates: FirstRow
Four Volleys: McGuirk Stadium. Holy shit is that right? We’ll be at McGuirk Stadium! Sweet.


MASCOT FIGHT

You're kidding, right?

You’re kidding, right?

Sam takes on literal birds this week so you’d think it would be a slam dunk, but Falcons have proven to be quite at home at UMass.

Then again, Sam has an actual gun, so Freddie the Falcon is totally fucked. Sam in a hail of musketballs.

Oh, also, their female mascot has tits. Good luck getting that weird image out of your head.


DRINKING GAME

1 SIP
You hear Fight Mass (the song). Inside, outside, wherever. Finish your drink if someone around you knows the words
Each and every point UMass scores
Someone tells you how much better tailgating used to be
2 SIPS
Missed PAT by either team (this could happen)
Bowling Green scores
The announcers, fans, anyone, maybe even your dog, mentions our upcoming independence
LONG PULL
Frohnapception
UMass covers
SHOT
Blake Lucas. Just anything to do with him. Positive. Negative. You think you might have seen him on the side lines. Anything at all.
HALF THE BOTTLE
UMass down by more than two scores at the half
DRINK ALL OF THE CHAMPALE
UMass Wins


FIND FOUR VOLLEYS

BTkXT8XCIAABJwY
UNDER THE FLAG! We’ll be under the flag in beautiful Amherst, Massachusetts. Or maybe Hadley, Massachusetts. It depends on what side of the stadium the parking Nazis place us. Just look for the pirates.


NEGRODAMUS

negrodamus
Spread: MASS +5…..Moneyline: MASS +170…..O/U 68.5

Yowza. The odds for this game have plummeted in UMass’ favor, down from an opening consensus of BGSU -13, MASS +319. If you got in on this game early, you have to feel as good about yourself as Tony the Tiger feels about Frosted Flakes. Now, it’s a bit of a different story as the line is much closer. I’d still take Mass with a five-point spread.
Oh, and there are going to be more than 68 total points this game. Someone is scoring 40. You can take that to the bank.

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