This week is Rivalry Week, or Hate Week, and we have no rivals anymore, and we don’t know what to do when it seems everyone around us is gearing up to battle their mortal enemies.
We do have a game this week, but it’s against Buffalo. How are we supposed to Hate Buffalo? Sure, we have a more deep history with them than any other MAC team, but even then we’ve only played them 11 times. I mean, I don’t like them, but that’s mostly a function of them being on the schedule.
So we look elsewhere to spew our negativity. Oh look, BC has a game against Syracuse on Saturday. HEY, BC! YOU SUCK! I HOPE YOU SLIP AND FALL ON THE WAY OUT OF YOUR FANCY APARTMENTS SATURDAY MORNING! BE CAREFUL TO CHEW YOUR BREAKFAST ENOUGH OR YOU MIGHT CHOKE ON YOUR OWN SELF-WORTH.
Meh. What else is happening? Oh, yeah.
HEY, UCONN! SWEET SEASON YOU HAVE THERE. IS THAT TWO WINS? CAN YOU EVEN COUNT THE ONE AGAINST STONY BROOK? WE WOULDN’T AND WE BARELY KNOW WHAT A WIN FEELS LIKE. THANKS FOR TAKING OVER AS THE WORST FBS TEAM IN NEW ENGLAND, HOPE YOU STAY THERE FOREVER. ALSO I HEARD YOUR WOMEN SHOP IN THE BIG AND TALL SECTION OR SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES.
I’m feeling a little better. But only a little.
HEY, STUPID NEW HAMPSHIRE! IS THAT A NUMBER ONE SEED IN THE FCS PLAYOFFS? YOU’RE WELCOME. REMEMBER WHEN WE USED TO PLAY YOU GUYS AND WIN A LOT? WE DO. I ALMOST MISS THOSE DAYS. MAYBE SOMEDAY WE CAN DO IT AGAIN IF YOU WOULD STOP BEING SO BITTER ABOUT US LEAVING YOU BEHIND. ALSO YOUR STADIUM IS WEIRDLY SMALL STOP BEING SO GOD DAMN WEIRD. ENJOY TRYING TO FEEL ACCOMPLISHED WHEN YOU BEAT SOME MID ATLANTIC SCHOOL IN THE PLAYOFFS AND INEVITABLY LOSE BEFORE MAKING THE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME SINCE THAT’S WHAT YOU DO.
I actually do miss yelling incredibly obscene things at the 13 UNH fans who would show up to McGuirk. But the only constant is change, I guess.
I’m still not quite there….there’s something missing….. oh.
HEY, LONGMEADOW! GO FUCK YOURSELVES.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.